Go West!

February 28th - Jackson's 2nd Grade Musical this year was "Go West!".  He got to wear his cowboy hat, which made him really happy!  He also got to do a speaking part!  And he was fantastic! :)  He was really nervous before, but you couldn't tell at all!  

 Jackson and his friend Nathan.  :)

He is such a good kid and student!  He just seems to be growing up way too fast!  But we are so proud of him and his courageous personality!  He is pretty unstoppable... it's kind of amazing!  :)  Nice job, Buddy!

TOFW - UT Edition

February 1st, I got to take a little trip to Utah to have some girl time with my mom!  (Patrick was brave enough to let me leave for 4 days!)  :)  We did some shopping and eating and hanging out, but the main attraction was Time Out For Women.  "Higher" is the theme for this year. 

Think Higher
Believe Higher
Live Higher

"So are MY ways HIGHER than your ways..."  Isaiah 55:9

It was an interesting theme, and I had high hopes.  TOFW is always good, but this year I struggled a little more than usual to get out of it what I was hoping for.  That being said, it was still very good, just different.  :)  Here are some of my favorite thoughts and quotes:

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that will determine the outcome of your story."
-Pres. Uchdorf
"Your Happily Ever After"

"We should strive to be a blessing to our fellow human beings."
-Dean Hughes

"Heavenly Father did not send us to earth to fail, but to succeed gloriously!"
"Speak hopefully, speak encouragingly, especially about ourselves."
"Live as if you matter."  ...Higher Thinking.
"Words are sacred and must be used with great care."
-Hilary Weeks

Check your assumptions!  (This was one of my favorites!!)
How Heavenly Father Works:
1.  Trust Him to act according to the bigger picture!
     * Be thankful the God lets you struggle for awhile, it causes an increase in Faith.
2.  What if life is fair?
     * Fair is not that we are all equal - it's everyone getting what they need when they need it.
     * Things don't happen for everyone the same way all the time.
     * If you are in perfect balance you are not moving - Risk = Progress.
     * Heavenly Father does answer prayers - but not always when or how we want or expect.
3.  He guides and protects my children more than I will ever know! 
     * Sometimes they get hurt, experience helps them grow, but it doesn't mean they aren't being protected.
4.  He needs me to use the gifts He has given me! 
     * Am I?
-Emily Watts

Letting go of Your Fears!
Fear is a king of intentional storytelling, that we are all born to do.
You decide how your story ends!
Don't spend time looking back at past disappointments or failures!
Fight your Fears:
1.   Fight fear with Power.
     *Your identity, even if you don't like it, is your comfort zone - we are not meant to live in our comfort zone!
     *Fight fear with the power of Change!
      (2 Corr. 5:17)
2.  Fight fear with Love.
     *When you stop praying for what your heart really wants, your heart stops wanting what you weren't willing to pray for.
     *The tragedy isn't not getting what you want, it's not wanting it anymore.
     *God will not waste a miracle on a doubter.
     *There is no fear in Hope.
3.  Fight fear with a Sound Mind.
     *Sometimes we use the notion of "God's will" as a way to abdicate the responsibility to exercise our own.
     *He expects us to choose, He trusts us!
     *Involve Him.  Learn His ways.  Then make choices for your life. 
Have the courage to rise above your fears!
-Laurel Christensen

It was a great experience!  And I felt like there were things I needed to hear, it always seems to work that way.  I'm grateful that I got to go, and it was so much fun to share it with the ladies in my life! :)

I also got to see these guys!  ;) 

It was a fun weekend!  I haven't gotten to do a trip like this by myself before, so I enjoyed every minute of "freedom".  Hahaha.  But don't be deceived, I missed my little family!  Probably more than they missed me!  Hahaha.

Another Milestone...

On January 30, 2012 Harrison lost his first tooth!!  :)

He realized it was loose two days before and worked on it relentlessly!  He was bound and determined to get it out!  And sure enough, out it came.  I looked over and saw him dissecting his grilled cheese, when I asked him what he was doing he kept repeating "My tooth came out!  My tooth came out!".  :)

He found it.  Crisis averted.  :) 

That night he was just sure the tooth fairy wouldn't come.  (Not sure why... could be that she has a spotty memory and falls asleep when she's not supposed to. :/)  But I reassured him and he seemed excited.  The next morning when I went in to wake him up for school, with one eye open, he lifted half his pillow (failing to see his dollar), pushed it back down mad and said "See, I told you so!".  Then he laid back down.  I told him to look again and to look better this time.  (Yep, the tooth fairy's husband is way more on top of things! :)  Dollar in hand, he jumped out of bed, still with only one eye open and started jumping around!  You would have thought he'd won the lottery!  Hahaha.  He is a funny kid! 

Little Miss is 3!

(January 15th, 2013)
I can't even put into words how strange it is that she is already 3!!  Funny little squishy ball of bi-polar craziness!  Hahahaha. Everyone says girls are more emotional/dramatic, so far for us, this is totally true!  She is every bit a personality and attitude fill toddler!  It's always interesting!  :)

Her 3rd birthday was a big one.  It also happened to be her first day of school!  (What?) She seems way too little to be going to school!  Seriously!  But because of the state program she qualifies for that helps kids with developmental disabilities, she qualified to start at the Early Childhood Center preschool.  They did a bunch of testing and evaluations before she started so they know what kind of therapy and help she needs and found that she is delayed in everything (which we know)... except in the Social/Emotional category, she scored in the normal range on that one!  Hahaha.  Everybody has their strengths, and if she had to excel at anything, I'm SO glad it's that!  :)  She is a VERY social kid, who loves to love and be loved!  So school was probably the best birthday present ever!  :)  And not shockingly at all, she LOVES it!  (And they LOVE her!) 

After school and nap, we got busy making cake.  She has her daddy's sweet tooth for sure! 

And then we opened presents!  :) 

Later that night we had a few of our close friends over for cake and ice cream!  She got more presents, which made her happy.  But really just getting all the attention would have been enough!  This girl loves to be at the center of it! :) 

We practiced blowing so she could blow out her candle, but she was so tickled with the singing that she could have cared less about it.  :)  So she had some help... and loved that too! 

Oh this little girl!  We have had more challenges this year, with lots more frustration.  But for all of the struggling and pushing and pulling, she is the most amazingly tough and determined little thing I have ever seen!  She is progressing so fast lately, sometimes it's hard to keep up!  :)  (I think the house suffers the most! Hahaha.)  It's truly incredible to watch her!  And I love that she makes me appreciate the little things!  Like how hugs and kisses really are magic!  And life really isn't that hard! I LOVE her!  Not more than my other kids, but different.  She is special, and not because she has special needs.  It's something else, it's more just who she is.  The way she touches people, the way she has changed me.  I am so grateful to be her mom!  Even when she eats out of the garbage can or finger paints on her legs with her own poop!  Hahaha. Oh my gosh, she is a funny little person!  I really can't imagine our lives without her!  :)

FAVORITES:
Favorite Food: Yogurt and Poptarts... and candy!
Favorite Color: Pink
Favorite Toy: Right now she has to sleep with a killer whale and a Little People llama.  :)
Best Friend: Harrison and Jackson... and then about 50 other people.
Favorite Song: "Popcorn Popping"
Favorite Sport: "Reorganizing" the book shelf
What do you want to be when you grow up: We'll go with... taller than 5'.  Hahaha.
Favorite Things to do: Read books, stack things, take baths, sing songs
Favorite Book: I can see me.  (It's a book with mirrors. :)
Favorite Movie: "Tangled" and "Princess and the Frog" 
Favorite TV Show: "Sesame Street" and "Spongebob" :/
Favorite Animal: Killer whale and llama
Favorite Holiday: Any that include getting candy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GIRL!!

Baby #4

On January 2nd, 2013 I had my 20 week ultrasound!  And we found that Baby #4 is....
A BOY!

We are very excited!  Well, Patrick and I are.  Haha.  We obviously would have been happy either way.  But Jackson and Harrison are not as easily satisfied!  They both had their hearts set on a baby sister.  And after lots of conversations about how you get what you are supposed to get and not all little sisters are as fun as Reagan ;)... they have yet to come around!  Hahaha.  But I'm pretty sure it will happen as soon as he gets here! 

When I asked Jackson why he didn't want another brother, his response was that he wanted Reagan to have a sister.  Because he has Harrison and he thinks she needs that too.  And because he already loves his brother and he wasn't sure how this new kid would fit in to things.  :)  I told him he was sweet to want that for Reagan.  But that I think she likes having brothers!  (I know she does!)  And that she will probably love getting to be the only princess girl!  ;)  And not to worry about how he would feel about his new brother.  I told him that every time another person joins our family, our love grows.  We don't run out, we just make more. 

His response to that was "Oh, like the Grinch!  His heart just gets bigger and bigger!".  Hahaha. Sure, that sounds about right!  :)  I love that kid! 

Naming him has been their favorite topic ever since.  They go through every name they can think of from Star Wars to Harry Potter and then every other  movie/show.  The one they like the most is Tobey Wan Kenobi!  Hahaha.  

We somehow found ourselves with 3 kids and 3 presidents names.  So we can't very well name this one Bob!  ;)  He's going to need to fit in.  But we are finding it hard to decide on one.  So for now, he remains nameless... unless you ask his brothers!  :)

A NeW YeAr...

I'm not really a New Year's celebrator.  I don't make resolutions.  I didn't even make it to midnight. Hahaha. Although Jackson and I tried really hard!  :)  Reagan and Harrison pooped out early, so we sat down on the couch to watch the ball drop with about 20 minutes to go.... and the next thing I remember is waking up and trying to coax him down the hall to his bed at about 1:30 am.  Hahaha.  We did have a fun night watching movies and hanging out.... and the boys love anything that gives them an excuse to stay up WAY too late.  :)  

But the thing I usually think about the most at the beginning of a new year, is the year that's ending.  How incredibly blessed I have been.  How much things have changed.... or haven't.  ;)  How fast my kids seem to be growing. How sometimes the days feel like forever... but the years seem to fly.  Milestones and memories, challenges and changes. 

A lot of people I know were picking a word to help them define what they hope for in the year to come. At the time, the only word I could come up with was SURVIVE.  Hahaha.  It sounds almost sad, I know.  But it was a rough end to my 2012, physically.  And while I am feeling better, there seems to be no end to my attempting and failing to get ahead and stay on top of things.  Which I am sure is setting the tone for my new self as a mother of 4.  Holy crap, 4 kids!!  Haha.  It feels sort of impossible, even though I know it's not.  Good grief, being pregnant and trying to keep up with the 3 I already have, also seems impossible... but isn't.  It's just not ideal.  I am surviving. 

I've discovered that 30 is my "tap out" age for child bearing.  Hahaha.  I love being a mother.  But I don't particularly love the mother (or wife) I am when I'm pregnant.  I am simply not the best version of myself right now.  But even beyond actually growing and having this baby, there is the adjustment period,  and sleepless nights... On top of juggling school, preschool, callings, sports, practices, therapy, doctor visits, etc. So... more surviving. ;)

There are days, when I reach the end and I am just super excited because everyone got to wear clean clothes and got fed the appropriate amount of times. :)  On those days, survival is success!  And I'm ok with that.  It won't be this way forever.  But I don't like the idea of that being the word that defines my 2013.  I am not just a survivor.  I don't even like to think of my life like that.  It sounds so cold and non-feeling.  Like I just have to get through the day. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured. So I should clarify.... I love my life, and my family! And I am extremely excited about this new little person entering our lives! .... I know how incredibly blessed I am!  I just seem to have misplaced my motivation... and my energy.... and my patience.  Hahaha.  So when this baby is born, and life changes and we find our new normal, I will pick a different word.  One that better suits what I really hope to gain in 2013.  :)

But for now, I am just counting my blessings.  And loving and appreciating that they love me ...regardless of how clean our house is ...or how many times I forget about things ...or that I fall asleep if I sit down for too long ...or that I lose my patience way too fast.  They are my people!  :)  I LOVE them more than they will ever know!  I love them for surviving me!  :) 

MeRrY ChRiStMaS!!

Christmas morning is always a crazy blur of paper and giggles!  :)  These kiddos, all dressed in new pjs, were 3 very happy campers!  I think it's always more exciting for me to watch them open everything than it is for them, but I don't care!  :)  Although, we did torture them for a bit.  Patrick had to work early that morning, so they did have to wait for him to get home before they could start.  (But he did get to come home early... with the stomach flu. :/)  After what probably felt like eons, but was more like 11 am, they dug right in! :)

(Reagan had a few more to open since she was sleeping on Christmas Eve when the boys opened theirs.)

He was such a good sport, sick and all!!  :)  I love him SO much! (I got him more than just this book, but he's smiling in this picture so I thought I'd throw it should be included as proof that he was "manning up"! ;) I don't know about most people, but when I feel like I need to puke, I don't smile. Hahaha.) 

And he spoiled me too!  He got me so many things I felt bad about the 4 or 5 small things I got him!  But that seems to be the way things go with us!  I think I'm doing so well, and then he totally goes above and beyond!  :)  He never fails to impress me!  And while we are supposed to stick to a budget, I sort of love that he spoils me when he can!  I just LOVE him!  I know, I said that already.  But he even got me tickets to WICKED!  I squealed a little bit, not gonna lie!  :)
It was a wonderful Christmas! 

The EvE of ChRiStMaS!

Our Christmas Eve was a lot of fun!  We started with church (Dec. 23rd).... and an attempt at a picture.  :)

Dec. 24th, all dressed in new clothes, (Reagan needed a nap, so she slept through this part) we opened family gifts. As usual, we felt VERY loved!  :)

We were lucky enough to join some of our AZ family for dinner.  We are really so blessed to have the neighbors, friends and ward that we do!  They make us a lot less lonely for the holidays (And plenty of other times throughout the year!)!  :)  I wish I had a group picture, but there were a LOT of us, it would have been tricky.  But a big THANKS to all of the families who made it so fun and memorable!  After dinner we headed to the high school to start up some DODGE BALL!  It really is pretty fun to have an excuse to throw things at your kids!  ;)  (Don't judge, the balls were small and soft!) 

After exhausting ourselves thoroughly, we headed home to get ready for Santa.  The kids made their own magic reindeer food!

And then we sprinkled it all over the yard... The boys were very meticulous about it's placement!  It took a lot longer than I thought it would!  Hahaha.

I gave some to Reagan thinking it would be fun for her to throw... but she decided eating it seemed like a better option.  She had red glittery poop for a day or two, but it didn't make her fly!  ;) 

And they were off to bed, super tired and super excited!  :)  It is so much fun getting to celebrate with kids!  I am not good at doing all the big and crafty things with my kids for the holidays, but I love spending the time with them! Watching them have so much fun is one of the reasons I love being a mom!  They just make everything so much more meaningful and FUN!   :)  And then someone has a meltdown or gets sick!  Hahaha.  It's exhausting, but in a wonderful way!