Three and a half weeks left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't help, but count down. This place is killing me. I spent four hours standing in 20 degree temps. w/ 30 mph winds just to drive a jacked up Tahoe around a cone course for five minutes. Are you kidding me!!! It even snowed too. Three whole snow flakes in all of Aretesia and one of them hit me dead straight in the freakin' eyeball. The only good thing (if you even want to call it that) was laughing at a chick in my class because she's retarded and can't drive and had that Tahoe all over the place. I even had to run out of the way once. I definitely now have post traumatic stress disorder from already being run over once just five months ago and having to run for my life again today. One of my buddies in class is actually a naturalized citizen from Canada and he doesn't know his right from his left. I told my instructor he killed so many cones today because he was yelling, "turn left," or "turn right," to him instead of the sled dog commands Gee and Haw. I'm a jerk, but whatever.

I am proud to say that I have broken a record on this facility that will probably last a long time. More important than any of the requirements I have to pass in order to graduate from this place. I broke the Hoop Fever high score of 118 w/ a score of 119. Only on my third try tonight too. I crushed alot of people's dreams tonight. I tend to do that alot here. I won't give any examples, but one of my instructors said I'm the guy at the beach that kicks and stomps on a little kid's sand castle he just made. Now that's funny! Hoop Fever is alot like Double Shot except it only has one hoop (in case you were wondering.)

I'm getting to the point now where I tend to say what people in my class are thinking, but are too afraid to say. I do this with instructors which probably isn't a good thing. I don't sass them or anything like that, I just tell them how I feel when they ask or give them my opinion when they ask for it. It sucks having my past work experience because I'm always called on. One of my PT instructors was trying to prove a point to one half of my class he was teaching after he taught my half of the class. I always give him 100 % when I have PT so I think he thought I would back him up on how effective, "Duck Walking," is. If you don't know what it is, it sucks. I told him it sucks because it makes my knees hurt and I thought it was the worst exercise ever and I walked away down the hallway. He was so mad at me all he could say was, "FREAKING SWAIN!" at the top of his lungs. I did everything I could not to show him I was laughing. Oh well. What do you do?

Well, I have to get to bed. Another early day tomorrow. Just remember, life's a garden. You have to dig it to make it grow.

Artesia, New Mexico "Hole of the United States"

More than half-way done and this place stills blows. I wish I could say it only gets better over time, but it doesn't... it just gets worse. This is my seventh week here at the FLETC Academy. During my time here I have pulled four muscles and jacked two tendons or ligaments, (not sure what they are, but they hurt like he!!.) We have PT here for two hours a day, everyday. I came here in pretty good shape, but for the first two weeks, I had a hard time moving around I was so sore. Now I think I'm either getting use to feeling sore 24/7 or I'm getting in better shape.

My nickname is Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. My classmates have deemed me with this name because I'm such a cynic and I really hate this place. I found this out when my Immigration Law Instructor asked me a question in class and called me Eeyore. I couldn't figure out what he was talking about. He was looking right at me, but I thought Eeyore was something in Spanish I didn't understand. I finally looked down at my name tag on my desk and saw Eeyore taped over my name. Nice! I guess I'm always saying I hate this place and they think I'm depressed. I'm not gonna lie, being away for the holidays was rough, but not depressing. Depressing is when I tell them I don't want to go to Walmart because it makes me homesick! :)

That's probably one of the better things about being here is my class. I'm not big on making new friends and would much rather spend my time being alone, but when I actually do have to be around them, I've realized they are already pretty good friends. Not all of them, just some of them. I do, however; have a few classmates that just looking at them makes me want to punch them in the face. I can't help it, it's just who I am.

When I first got here, it was total chaos. Instructors yelling at you. No... screaming at you. Being treated like a little kid. Running everywhere you went. Totally sucked. I had an idea of what it would be like here having already done this once, but it is far worse than the first academy I went to. I'm just glad it's only for three months instead of six. Thank goodness for Spanish speaking missions.

My instructors have lightened up a little bit and actually joke around with me. I don't say much back, because I'm still not sure if I'm allowed to laugh. Last time somebody laughed it was flutter kicks for fifteen minutes. I can't help smiling sometimes. Today I kind of pushed my limits though. We had survival swimming in full uniform for two hours today. I know I'm not the best swimmer, but I'm definitely not the worst in my class. When my Instructor was cracking wise at my swimming ability, I told him, "black folk don't like to get wet, Sir." I said it with a straight face too. You should have seen the look on his face. My classmates knew so they laughed, but he looked like he was smelling something nasty. When I jumped out of the water I explained things to him and he said, "But it looks like you have two fluorescent light bulbs sticking out of your shorts when you're in PT." I told him it was part of having the recessive black gene. I'm still not sure if he thought I was trying to be a smart a$$ or not. I'll find out in PT tomorrow.

Other than that, everything is going well I guess. About one more month and I should be out of this dump. Don't ever come to Artesia to visit because it sucks. Don't even drive through it if it's on the way to get somewhere. Thanks to all who have been taking care of Jennie and the Boys for me. It means alot. And sorry for no pics. They're not allowed.

Half Way There...

6 weeks gone, 6 more to go!! ...Part of me is screaming with joy! I can't believe we have reached the half way mark! Time has been going fast. But at the same time, it feels like it has been forever, and the thought of having to repeat that 'forever' again also makes me want to cry! But heaven knows it could be SO much worse, and so, this is the end of my complaining! He is safe and healthy and working his butt off! I am seriously so lucky and blessed to have the most amazingly sexy best friend of a husband EVER! I love you, babe!

We also have an offer in on our house. (The first so far.) I am not getting my hopes up, but it would surely be an answer to our prayers! So we are keeping our fingers crossed!

And to make this post more interesting, I am including some totally random pictures for your viewing enjoyment! lol!

Us at the Layton City Park lights right before Christmas! Side note: one pro to being an only parent right now is that I actually get to appear in some pictures with my kids! It's new for me. I'm sure other moms can relate, always behind the camera! (Thanks Facer family for letting us tag along, and Angie for bringing your camera!)

This is what we like to call a walking contradiction! lol! I love the kid, but an angel he is not! He is my little buddy, but likes to push me as much and as often as possible! We have to have a lot of conversations about staying away from the dark side! lol! But he is actively working on being nicer to his brother! So that is something!And this would be my 33" tall 1 year old, who dreams of growing up and becoming a stunt man! (He is a cuddly holy terror! Do not be deceived by the innocent look on his face!) And a climber, this tower was his perch for watching TV. Yep, he stood there through an entire episode of Backyardigans! (There was even dancing, I was impressed!)

I love my boys! I am so thankful to be their mom and I seriously don't know what I would do without them! And if I can just keep them from killing each other for a few more weeks, their dad can have a turn appreciating them! lol! I'm kidding...kind of! They keep me laughing and busy and on my toes! And to top it all off, between the two of them, I get to see a lot of Patrick! :)

HaPPy NeW YeaR!!

Holy crap that year just disappeared! Seriously, I have no idea where it went! Does that mean I am getting old? Because everyone always says the older you get the faster time flies! Some days, I feel really old! Although that could be due to chronic exhaustion! Keeping up with little people is insane! But that's an entirely different post all together! lol!

Back to the new year! We had a blast partying (which for us meant playing Settlers and eating endlessly!) into the wee hours of the morning with my mom and dad and brother and his family!

Harrison was resting up before the big party, he was chillin' on my bed with his best friend!

Wishing Dad a Happy New Year!

Making some noise! (With uncle Cameron's help!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! We wish you all of the best!

Just for fun, from the mouth of Jackson:
J: Why are we having a party?

Me: Because it's going to be a new year.

J: Why is it going to be a new year for?

Me: Because we have to start a new year so that we can have our birthdays and holidays like Christmas again.

J: I don't care mom.

Me: Than why did you ask, Jackson?

J: Because there is a party.

("I don't care" is his new favorite phrase.)

Graduation...

From Nursery, that is. It was too funny! He is such a handsome boy and he was so excited about his hat! lol! I cannot believe he is old enough to be in Primary! Look out Sunbeams, here he comes! (I mean that literally, he is going to be a very cute handful! That poor teacher gets 5 boys and 2 girls next week!) Congratulations Jackson!

MeRRy CHRiSTMaS!

Santa was good to the Swain house! The one at the north pole and the one in BFE New Mexico! Patrick has apparently mastered the art of online shopping, and managed to remember everything I told him I wanted! It was impressive! The boys were not complaining either! Trains, Star Wars, dinosaurs, swords and of course a couple of magic bells! And this year, we added a couple of people to our Christmas morning since we were short one very important person! Patrick's brothers Kenny and Eric were kind enough to spend the night, help me wrap and be photographers! You guys are the best!

That is Kenny!

And that would be Eric helping Harrison! I'm not sure what the deal was with the hoods, I think they were a little insecure about their hair! lol! Which is funny for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I was sporting a bath robe, no makeup and a pony tail. (Of course, I didn't post any pictures of me, so maybe they had good reason to be worried!)
He wouldn't put them down! (A better shot of the new black eye!) And he is amazingly accurate with his swing ...big brother beware!

The best gift of all....the garbage! This was his space helmet.
"I believe! ...I Believe!" Polar Express is his favorite Christmas movie! I have no idea how many times I was forced to watch it this month!

Patrick's parents joined us a little later for more presents and our new traditional Christmas morning breakfast that is usually followed by a movie. Spoiled kids, I have! And then later we were off to Christmas lunch with all of Patrick's family! They are always a riot, and we ate ourselves sick! It was awesome!

There was also a giant dog, it is as big as Harrison and they are kindred spirits! He can barely move it, but he loves it! Thanks Great Grandma & Papa.
Merry Christmas to all of you and we wish you a very happy and hopeful new year! And a very special Merry Christmas to the love of my life who is so far away! I hope you enjoyed what Santa sent you! I know it didn't feel like Christmas, but it will, just give it about 57 more days! :) We will make it up to you! I love you SO much!

Christmas Eve Choas! (But in a good way!)

We always do Christmas Eve with our Salisbury family at my parents house! Dinner, presents, playing, etc. It's awesome! And probably one of my most favorite traditions, might I add. The boys had SO much fun! Jackson did his "naked dance" for everyone. (That is what he named it. Yes he has to be naked or in his underwear! And yes we have to see it twice a day!) Harrison only hit his head twice! (Considering everything that was going on, it could have been much worse! Although, one was an eye, so he got a black eye for Christmas too!)

The kids (and Jake) all watching The Grinch while waiting for dinner.

Opening up their pj's from Grandma and Papa.

Presents.
Presents.

More presents, and a good shot of the two confrontations Harrison's head had with random objects! The dent in his forehead and the puffy left eye! To his credit, he takes those hits like a champ! LOL!Thanks mom and dad and family, it was a great night!

My HaNSoMe Boys! (well, 2 of them)

They looked so cute for church in their Christmas cloths! I have to show them off! Plus, they are only ever this clean with their hair combed for about 10 minutes before church! Lol!